There’s a quote I stumbled across that hit me like a freight train:
“The fear of being too much, and the fear of not being enough… are the same fear. The fear of being you.”
And I’d take it one step further: it’s the fear of man.
I spent a long time swinging between those two ditches. Too loud. Too opinionated. Too intense. Not polished enough. Not agreeable enough. Not “sweet” enough.
I never would’ve called it fear—not out loud, anyway. But deep down, I was living on edge, trying to manage how I came across. I knew I had a lot to say (and wasn’t shy about saying it), but I also carried this low-grade anxiety that my boldness might cost me connection. That my convictions might make people uncomfortable. That I was just a little too much.
And so I tried to soften the edges. I tried to be more “approachable,” more agreeable, more… palatable.
I used to bend myself into knots trying to be everyone’s cup of tea. But somewhere along the way, Yah handed me a mug of conviction and said, “Drink up.”
The Fear of Man Is a Trap
“The fear of man brings a snare: but whoso puts his trust in Yahuah (the LORD) shall be safe.”
— Mishlei (Proverbs) 29:25
Fear wears a lot of disguises.
For me, it looked like over-explaining. Oversharing. Overthinking everything I said the moment it left my mouth. I wasn’t trying to be loud—I was trying to be understood. I wasn’t trying to dominate—I was trying to connect. But underneath all of it was this quiet, constant fear:
What if they don’t like how I come across? What if I’m too much? What if I’m not enough?
It’s a trap. Not because it makes you weak—but because it makes you divided. One foot in obedience to Yahuah (the LORD), the other planted firmly in social survival.
And you can’t run your race like that.
When your eyes are on Him, there’s no room left for managing everyone else’s gaze. Approval becomes a false idol. And the fear of man? It becomes your leash.
But here’s the promise: “Whoso puts his trust in Yahuah (the LORD) shall be safe.” Not necessarily liked. Not always understood. But safe—in the deepest, most anchored sense of the word.
I’m Not for Everyone—And That’s Okay
At some point, I had to come to terms with this:
Being misunderstood doesn’t mean I’m doing it wrong.
And being disliked doesn’t mean I need to change.
There’s a lie we subtly buy into, especially as women—that if we’re living right, we’ll be well-received. We’ll be agreeable, respected, admired. But Scripture never promised likability. It promised we’d be set apart. And sometimes, set apart looks like standing alone.
I heard an interview recently where Alex Hormozi was elaborating on a tweet he had posted, it stopped me in my tracks. I’m paraphrasing here, but you’ll get the idea:
“You can live your life in a way someone else doesn’t prefer. That doesn’t make them wrong.”
That hit hard—because for years I thought that if someone didn’t like the way I lived, one of us had to be wrong. Either I needed to tone it down… or they needed to be more open-minded.
But that’s not always true. Sometimes we’re just different.
And the moment I gave other people the freedom to live in a way I wouldn’t choose… I gave myself permission to do the same.
Grace Isn’t Control
Let’s talk about judgment for a second—because I’m not here to pretend I don’t use it. I do. We should use our judgment. We’re told to test spirits, discern truth, weigh fruit.
But what I’ve learned is that judgment and control are not the same thing.
I don’t need to control how others live.
I don’t need to control how I’m perceived.
And I don’t need to contort myself so someone else feels more comfortable with my choices.
That doesn’t mean I stop standing for truth.
It means I stop performing for approval.
I can walk in conviction without demanding that others get it.
I can honor what Yah is doing in me—even if someone else isn’t there yet.
I can live faithfully—even when it’s not well received.
Because when your approval is anchored in Yahuah (the LORD), other opinions lose their power to unravel you.
Living Out Loud Isn’t Loud for Loud’s Sake
This isn’t about being rebellious. It’s not about being edgy or different just to make a point.
It’s about being faithful.
It’s about living with your whole heart pointed toward Him, even if the world around you doesn’t clap for it. Even if people misunderstand your motives. Even if your obedience makes someone uncomfortable.
Living out loud isn’t about volume—it’s about alignment.
It’s not needing to be liked to be at peace.
It’s choosing clarity over comfort. Conviction over consensus.
So no, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. But I’ve stopped apologizing for that.
Because when Yahuah handed me that mug of conviction and said, “Drink up”— I finally understood: I don’t have to be for everyone.
I just have to be His.
Original tweet:
“You live your life in a way I would not prefer.”
— Alex Hormozi (via X, May 13, 2025) inspirationdaily.net+8twitter.com+8twitter.com+8
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